Simplifying

Last week I was working on writing some Bible studies for my youth group when my both of my computers (yes, both of them) reached their "maxed out" point and either started freezing windows or began to process at the speed of a three-legged turtle on sedatives. This was probably my fault for asking them to do and remember so many things at one time. I forget that even the magic machines in front of me have their limits, and on this particular day I had reached them.

As I sat in the maroon swivel chair behind the paper-laden desk that fills the youth office I wondered how I could possibly "work" without a computer. Whatever would I do without Microsoft Word to document what I had done during the day? What sense of accomplishment could I have without a stack of papers or presentation of power point slides? I wouldn't say I began to panic, but I was rather bereft until it hit me that there might be another way to put together a curriuculm. Pen and paper anyone?

For the next hour or so I planned a Wednesday night using a sheet of recycled printer paper, a burgundy "You've Got a Friend at Bethany" pen and a tattered LCMS Youth Gathering Bible. This may seem quite simple and rather unremarkable, but the simplicity of it is what I found so remarkable, and also very freeing. Often when planning lessons I find myself slave to the infinite amount of information on the Internet. I use Google to find ice breakers and games. I open the scripture passage in three different windows (each a different translation) and then attempt to skim a few commentaries. I look for a tie-in Youtube video, wanting to be culturally "in" with my high school students (which I've realized is something I should just stop trying to do). All the while I have a window open playing Pandora, a window open for my online Thesaurus, and a window open to my e-mail. It's a little ridiculous.

I realized as I was writing, though, that neither I nor my students really "need" so many resources. Impressive presentations and memorable video clips are fine and dandy and stimulating and culturally relevant, but my kids don't really want me to impress them, they just want me to love them, to share with them, to tell them stories and ask them questions - most of them anyway. I do have students who just want to play games and make noise and eat ice cream, but that seems to go with the territory.

The other thing I realized while I was writing is that I really like the physical act of writing. I like forming letters and watching as the pen becomes an extention of my hand and together the two produce this script that is capable of conveying in words the thoughts in my head in such a way that the person who reads those words on the page can then share and attempt to comprehend the thoughts that were in my head that are now on the page. Writing amazes me. Ironically I am documenting all of this on a blog that is kept on a computer and never printed (much less hand-written) on a page, but that's the way it goes. Blogging saves trees :)

I go through stints of hand-writing letters. It takes a long time and they aren't always of the highest quality, but they are my attempt to regain a little of my "pre-computer" life. It's strange to me that I can't go back and reread my letters the way I can the messages in my "Sent Items" folder. I can't copy-paste what I'm writing to my friend in Oregon into the letter I'm writing my friend in Wisconsin. I can't stick in links to webpages that remind me of my friends or photos that I took when I went to the park last weekend. I actually have to use words to describe what I feel and see and experience. Tragically, this has become more difficult than it was when I was 15. I am hoping to change that. If you find yourself fortunate enough to receive one of the handwritten letters that I'm currently promising myself I'm going to write, be gentle in your judgements. I'm re-learning how to live away from my laptop.